


Lie to me and tell me you’re real.

by jellyfic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: A bit sad, Childhood, Fluff, Growing Up, Imaginary Friends, Imaginary!Kuroo, M/M, happy ending kind of, it’s not angst I swear it’s just a bit sad sometimes, sweet and cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23381623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfic/pseuds/jellyfic
Summary: “That’s the perfect bed to learn how to cartwheel.”“It’s not.”“It is.”“We are not doing that Kuro.”“Yes, we are.”“Absolutely not.”As Kenma’s anxiety for wanting a friend slowly rises, he gets lucky and surprisingly meets Kuro. They become best friend really quick and grow up together. But as Kenma gets older, he’s starting to realize that there is something wrong about Kuro. But thinking about it, he’s scared of the truth.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 20
Kudos: 83





	Lie to me and tell me you’re real.

**Author's Note:**

> I saw this prompt like months ago on twt. It wasn’t even haikyuu related, but hey, I got an idea so here it is! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Kenma was five years old when he asked his mother on the way back home from school: 

“Mom? What does being friends mean?” 

The woman looked at him with her gentlest gaze, lips moving slowly to form a smile. “It’s when two people want to play and be with the other. We usually feel happy and loved around good friends.” 

If he believed what his mother just told him, he didn’t have any friends. Yet, someone had asked him about it today. A girl from his class had approached him, and asked him to be her friends. He had accepted, not wanting to make her sad. 

It was new to him. Until today, he had always stayed alone until his teacher forced him to join the other. He liked it that way, he needed some time in the day to be with himself. 

But he had accepted her offer today and had played with her all day. But if he was being honest, he hadn’t liked it at all. She was too noisy and had too much energy, giving him a headache. So when his mother asked him if he had any friends, he didn’t hesitate to shake his head. 

“I thought I had one, but she’s too noisy.” 

He didn’t want to play with her again, and he didn’t feel happy around her, so he had to tell her tomorrow he didn’t want them to be friends. 

The woman let out a light chuckle as she took his bag off his back to hold it for him. “It’s okay, you have plenty of time to find good friends.” 

Kenma nodded, trusting his mother. After all, his parents knew a lot about friendship since they had a lot of friends. He would like to have one too. Someone cool and calm, with whom he could play and have fun. 

“How do you find a friend?” He questioned, swinging his hand wrapped in his mother’s. 

She took a bit of time to think about it this time but answered with the same smile and fondness. “You meet people, learn more about them and will naturally want to spend time with them. It’s a feeling from the heart, not the head. And most of the time, it happens when you’re least expecting it.” 

The boy didn’t answer to that. It seemed hard to befriend someone. At least, he thought so, because he didn’t have much to say about it. It felt like when it will happen, he won’t be able to control it. That seemed scary, not to have a say in your own life. 

Yet, he wanted a friend. A thought occurred to him as he looked at his mother, sparking joy in his heart. His voice was hopeful when he said. 

“You and dad are my first friends. Am I yours?” 

She was slightly surprised at first, but eventually bent down to take him in her arms, planting a sweet kiss on his forehead. She offered him her widest smile before agreeing. “Yes honey, you are our favorite friend.” 

Kenma wanted a new friend so bad he spent his time trying not to think about it. Since his mother had told him it happened when he least expected it, he tried to busy his mind, secretly hoping for his friend to find him faster. He was failing, obviously, but it didn’t prevent him to try anyway. 

When his mother told him they were going to welcome new neighbors for diner, Kenma couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t refrain him from thinking too much about it as his excitement was showing. 

Hopeful to find a friend among the neighbors, he spent his day cleaning his room so there was enough place to play. He even spread his dinosaurs proudly on his shelves, displaying his greatest treasure. 

It was the first time he cleaned his room willingly, without the several threats of his mother. The whole afternoon trying to pack his belongings into their right place passed quickly and happily, and he sat on his bed, looking proudly at the results. 

But when he found himself with nothing else to do than staring at his wall, anxiety crept into his mind. He started wondering about things he hadn’t thought about before. 

What if he doesn’t want to play with the neighbors? Worse, what if the neighbors don’t want to play e ith him? Maybe they will find him too small or weird. Or maybe they just want to befriend his parents but not him. 

So many questions that made him insecure as he wrapped his legs into a tight hug, head resting on his knees. He didn’t know if making any friends was worth the stress. Wasn’t he happy with his parents as friends? After all, he had his games for himself and didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to. 

He wasn’t that sad to be lonely, it had his advantages. He liked not having to force him into something, being able to be himself, play with his things without needing to share. 

Sure, he’d like sharing sometimes. Playing with someone seemed nice. When his parents would give him some time to have fun together, he was happy. But if making new friends felt this scary, maybe he was better alone. 

He jumped when his mother called him from downstairs, demanding him to come and say hello to the guest. He chewed his lips, passing a hand in his hair to hide his face. 

There were two women he didn’t know on the porch, happily greeting his parents, both holding gifts for the event. They offered a bouquet to his mother and a bottle of wine to his father. 

When one of them spotted him, she cast a small smile, kneeling to be at his side. “You must be Kenma.” 

Her voice was calm and soothing as if she didn’t want to startle him, which he was grateful for. So he willingly let her pinch his cheeks and give him a long peck, wrinkling his nose despite him. 

“I’m so glad to finally meet you.” 

Feeling his cheeks warming, he averted his gaze, locking them on his fingers playing together. He felt a hand brushing his hair, as the other guest finally talked. 

“We also have something for you.” He raised his head, surprised. “A little bird told me you liked dinosaurs right?” 

Kenma took the figurine in his hand, touched by their attention. It was a small dinosaur, one that he knew would be perfect with his collection. 

“Thank you.” He murmured, eyes still admiring the toy. It took him all his courage to ask in a trembling and hesitating voice. “Do you want to... Hm, play with me?” 

The corridors echoed with several laughs, as both women accepted happily. He felt his cheeks getting redder as he turned to his mother, a small smile on his lips. She was already looking at him, pride in her eyes. 

“You can take your toys and bring them downstairs.” 

He nodded, rushing to his room to gather everything he could in his small arms. He decided to take his figurines collections, careful to put them between his hold without letting any fall or break. Once certain they were all secured, he turned to get back to the living room. 

But there was a head looking at him in the corridors. Surprised, he jumped but held on tight to his toys. His reaction startled the head who jumped too before revealing the rest of his body, which was hidden behind his door. 

A rather tall boy was now looking at him, fidgeting furiously, and looking pretty much guilty. He was anxious, Kenma could tell, and he still starring surely didn’t help. 

After a few seconds during which Kenma guessed they were around the same age, the boy finally talked, voice unsure. 

“Sorry. Hm, I’m Kuro. Hi.” His gaze was on his feet, fingers still fidgeting. 

He had brown hair, hideous brown hair if Kenma had to be honest. They were messy and spiky, but he guessed his weren't better since they were long and flat. It was easy to tell that he was stressed, so Kenma decided to finally move and put his toys on the bed. 

He didn’t remember seeing a boy when he went greeting the guest, but he probably was the women’s child. Realizing he had to say something, he coughed.

“Kenma. Kozume Kenma.” He pointed at his figurines, trying to ease the beating of his heart, pounding hard in his chest. “Do you want to play?” 

Kuro nodded. 

And just like that, Kenma had a new friend. 

When he went to bed this night, he smiled to himself. It hadn’t been that bad after all. His mother had been right, friendships did happen when they least expect it. 

When he entered his class the next day, he was delightedly surprised to see his new friend, waiting for him in a corner of a table. Immediately, Kenma sat down next to him. 

Kuro seemed happy to see him too, as they both started to chat while coloring the drawing they choose from the teacher’s book. 

“I’m glad to know that you are in my class!” Kuro said a wide smile on his face. 

Kenma snorted, putting his hair in front of his face to hide his embarrassment, but answering nonetheless. 

“You’re the one being in my class. I was there first. But yeah, I’m happy too.” 

He was honest. For the first time, he felt content to have someone to talk to and play with during school. He felt at ease with Kuro, secure. He had learned the night before that the boy didn’t need to fill the silence. He was calm, steady and yet always cheerful and kind. 

He was glad to count him as his first friend beside his parents. 

“You know what that means?” Kuro grinned, punching him carefully with his elbow.

“What?” 

“We will be forever together!!” He exclaimed, bouncing on his chair. 

Kenma rolled his eyes, but the shadow of a smile appeared on his lips. “Yeah.” 

And they did, they stayed together. 

As the day passed by, their friendship deepened. They would spend the entire day together, at school but also after school, playing in Kenma’s room. 

Kuro never got bored of him, always understanding when he needed time alone, or when he simply didn’t want to talk. And Kenma never got bored of Kuro too. Even when the boy forced him to play basketball in the park next to their houses. It was nice. 

Kenma learned a lot about his friend. He learned that Kuro wasn’t always as cheerful as he thought. And thinking back about it, it was normal. He was even glad to know that, it made his friend more human, and Kenma could help him, just as much as Kuro helped him. 

He was also strongly against any rule at all. Kenma tried to dissuade him a lot of time, telling him that he should be more careful, to listen to his mothers and be mature. But each time Kuro had broken the rules it was for a good reason. 

Either Kenma needed help, either the boy needed comfort. So having Kuro in his bed late at night, without anyone else but them knowing had become a habit. And Kenma would never betray his friend by telling his parents he was out at night. 

They would curl up in his bed, just holding each other close. Because that was what they needed, a presence, someone, to tell them that they weren’t alone, to feel secure. In the end, Kenma didn’t mind his friend breaking the rules. It was for their own sake. 

Kenma never thought he would be the one going against the rules though. And yet, here he was, violently pushing a classmate and yelling at her. 

It was her fault if he was being honest. He would have never hurt someone for his pleasure. The girls had just been rude and he reacted without really thinking about it. 

Both Kuro and he were doing a puzzle on a table, and she just came and took the chair his friend was still sitting on. That had caused him to fall, and the girl just walked away without even saying sorry.

So he reacted. Without really thinking, he ran into her and pushed her. She had been rude with Kuro, his only friend who has always taken his side, always protected him. It was his turn now. 

“Are you crazy or something?” he yelled, hands closed in tight fists. “Apologize to Kuro!” 

The girl just looked at him, blinking stupidly for a few seconds. Kenma didn’t know where did the anger came from, but it was there and seeing her lack of reaction didn’t make things better. 

“You are rude, apologize to him! Why did you even take his chair? There was plenty else!” 

She finally bit back, eyes narrowing. “Will you stop one day with your Kuro? This chair was free, you’re the weird one.” 

As he was about to push her again, the teacher came to separate them. And to his surprise, he was the one being yelled at. He turned around, searching for Kuro, asking for him to defend himself too, but found him nowhere. He turned to the girl again. 

“You hurt him! Now he’s gone because of you!” There were tears in his eyes, threatening to flow. 

He was mad, Kuro had always been a sweetheart, he never bothered anyone, had always been at his side since day one, caring for him and supporting him. And here he was, incapable to help him back. 

“Enough!” The teacher yelled, taking his hand. He swallowed his remarks, looking down. 

To his disbelief, he was the one being punished, forced to sit in a corner of the class and forbidden from any activities until school was done. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about Kuro. Where did he run to? Why nobody had looked after him? How was he feeling right now? Probably not well at all, he needed Kenma’s help, they needed each other right now. 

But as school ended, and his mother came to bring him back home, Kuro still hadn’t shown up. He intended to go to his place right after school to make sure he was okay, but his teacher seemed to have other plans. 

When his mother arrived, she prevented them to go, saying she had a few things to say. 

“It was the first time I ever saw Kenma showing any kind of emotion, and to be honest I was really surprised to see him angry.” The teacher told his mother for the third time. 

Kenma was holding his mother’s hand, gaze on the floor, silently listening to their conversation. 

“I am truly sorry.” His mother repeated for what seemed to be the fifth time. 

“I hadn’t said anything about the Kuro affair, but this time he hurt a friend because of that.” 

He wrinkled his nose, she was not a friend. And he didn’t understand why everybody seemed to hate to Kuro. He did absolutely nothing wrong to them. 

“Yes, yes I know. I’ll-“ His mother sounded embarrassed, and he hated that. She shouldn't be, because he acted well, and she should protect his friends. “I’ll talk to him about it at home, I promise. I apologize.” 

For the first time on the way home, his mother didn’t talk to him, chewing on her lips and casting nervous glances at him. It’s only when they both sat on the couch that she turned to him, voice soothing and careful. 

“Kenma, honey. Do you have friends?”

He frowned and answered as if the question was stupid. “I have Kuro.” 

She bit her lips again, taking his hands gently into hers. Her reactions were slowly starting to scare him, but he stayed silent, waiting for her to develop further. 

“I meant, anyone else than Kuro.” He could see she was choosing her words carefully, but he didn’t know why. 

“No. Why would I? Kuro is my best friend and he’s cool. A bit annoying but still.” 

She sighed, smiling sadly. He could see she wasn’t feeling alright, she wasn’t her usual self. He didn’t know why she was talking about Kuro too. His mother has always been there for the both of them, she would always leave a piece of apple pie for Kuro, she always let him go out and play with his friend. Why did she want him to have other friends? 

“You don’t like Kuro anymore?” He asked, afraid of the answer. He felt his eyes watering at the thought. His father and mother were his first friends, and he needed them to like Kuro as much as he liked him. 

“No, no that’s not it.” She pulled him tenderly against her chest, hugging him and planting a kiss on the top of his head. “I love Kuro, as long as he makes you happy.” 

That night, Kenma woke up with the sound of his bed cracking as Kuro crept onto it. He sat up immediately, leaving him a place at his side. They stayed silent for a few minutes before his friend finally spoke. 

“You shouldn’t stand up for me like you did today.” 

Kenma frowned, looking at Kuro as if he was sick. “Why? You do it every time for me.” 

Kuro turned to him, and he could see tears in his eyes. He let out a long breath, approaching his friend to pull him into a hug. 

“I don’t want us to be in trouble.” He finally answered, sniffing. 

Kenma nodded. He didn’t like the idea at all, thinking that someone could hurt Kuro again one day and that he will have to say nothing seemed so wrong. But he liked his friend, and if he asked him to let it go, then, he would let go. 

They fell asleep in the arms of each other, seeking comfort. 

When Kenma went to school the next day, Kuro wasn’t here. And he never came back to school since that day. 

It made him sad to be alone again in class, having nobody to talk to, but he could understand. So he said nothing, just waiting for Kuro after school and during the weekends to play together. 

Kenma got used to following Kuro everywhere. If his friends wanted to go for a walk, he would too. If he decided that he wanted to go and get ice cream he would come with him and his mothers. If Kuro wanted to play some basketball, he would play, but not without pouting for this one. 

Kuro did pretty much the same. As Kenma got a year older, his parents offered him his first video game. It was old and there weren’t many things to do, but if he wanted to play, the bed-head would follow him. If Kenma just wanted to lay down on his bed, Kuro would do too. 

They were just always together, making up for the time they were apart during school. 

That’s why Kenma found himself stuck in this horrible situation, clutching to the branch, eyes severely shut and screaming. 

“I can’t! I’ll fall!”

“No, you won’t!” Kuro yelled below him. “Jump, I’ll catch you!” 

It was all Kuro’s fault. After all, since when wasn’t it Kuro’s fault? He told Kemna it was a shame that he didn’t know how to climb trees, and decided that it was his duty to teach him. Turned out Kenma was a good climber. The problem wasn’t getting up, but rather how to get down. 

“No I’m too heavy, I’ll just crash into you and we’ll both get hurt!” He insisted, keeping his eyes shut. 

“Kenma you have the height and the weight of a bird’s feather. You wouldn’t crush a fly.” 

If he wasn’t so scared right now, he would have surely given him a murderous glare followed by a punch in his side. Instead, he kept silent as Kuro laughed. 

“Come on, do you trust me?”

Funnily enough, right now he didn’t, since he wouldn’t be in this situation if it wasn’t for Kuro. But he nodded nonetheless, knowing his friend was looking at him. 

“Okay then, let you fall, I’ll catch you. Pinky promise.” 

He inhaled sharply, repeating in his mind that Kuro would catch him. And just like that, he let go of the branch and fell. Right onto Kuro. 

“What were you thinking?” His mother yelled at him, hands severely put on her hips. 

Kenma winced, looking at his broken ankle in a splint. He did fall onto Kuro, but not into his arms, and they both got injured. He had been right. He really should listen to his instinct more when he’s with his friend. 

Now he was being lectured by his mother, feet gently put on a pile of pillows. He looked at it, taking his mother shouts proudly, without crying or trying to answer. He knew he earned this one. 

Kuro was probably going through the same lecture at his house, and the thought that he was not alone comforted him a bit. 

“What were you even doing on a tree Kenma?” She asked, agape. 

“I just wanted to learn how to climb.” He mumbled into his breath, playing with his fingers. 

“Why?” 

He shrugged. He didn’t want to tell it was Kuro’s idea, not because he didn’t want to blame him. It was Kuro’s fault. But his mother had the same reaction each time he would talk about Kuro. She would severely bite her lips and sigh deeply. 

He didn’t know why she was reacting that way, but he didn’t like it. So when he could let Kuro out of their conversation, he would. 

Fortunately, she didn’t ask further questions, shaking her hand and living his room. Kenma let out a long breath at his turn, getting rid of the tension. He sat up, laying his back against the wall and took his video game. 

There was at least something good about having a broken ankle, he could still play all day in his bed. And Kuro couldn’t force him to play basketball again. 

He was still playing when he heard his window closing. He looked up from his game to see Kuro approaching him, jumping on one foot. Eyes wide, Kenma hissed. 

“What are you doing? You're going to get your leg worse!” 

Kuro didn’t answer, letting himself fall on his bed. “I was bored. It’s no fun staying in bed all day.” He pouted, looking up at his friend. 

Kenma frowned. “You’re the one to blame. I told you I would crush you. Besides, you like staying at home to play games.” 

“Only when with you.” He pointed out, moving to sit up at his friend’s side, looking over his shoulder for the game. He didn’t last four minutes without talking, whining. “I’m bored!” 

“Well, not me,” Kenma countered, still wanting to play his game. He knew Kuro always did stupid things when he was bored, and right now he had got enough stupid things for at least his whole life. 

“Did I already told you that I find your bed cool?” He asked, patting the mattress and looking at it as if it was magic. 

Kenma frowned. “It’s just a bed, Kuro.” 

The latter shook his head, explaining. “You have a big bed. Mine is small, and the mattress is too soft.” 

Even more confused, he returned to his game. But apparently, Kuro wasn’t done. 

“That’s the perfect bed to learn how to cartwheel.” 

Here it was. Stupid idea. 

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“We are not doing that Kuro.” 

“Yes, we are.”

“Absolutely not.” 

But his friend just grinned, getting up on the bed, standing on one leg. Kenma rolled his eyes, scooting to the side of the bed, not wanting to get hurt. 

“When you’re going to lose your only leg left and won’t be able to play basketball anymore, don’t come at me crying. I’ll kick you.” He threatened, not looking away from his game. 

“You sure have a rude mouth for a seven years old, do you know that?” 

“And you are really immature for a seven years old. Kuro don’t do this you’re going to make everything worse.” 

But again, did his friend ever listened to him? As Kuro stretched his arms, Kenma paused the game, looking at him through narrowed eyes. As the bed-head leaped himself, Kenma was sure his long legs and arms would cause a problem. The bed wasn’t that big. But surprisingly. He landed perfectly, on his butt, sure, but still perfectly.

Kenma wrinkled his nose, turning back to his game. 

“Ah! Told you I could do it!” He exclaimed, excited. 

“You landed on your butt, you were supposed to land on your feet.” He objected.

“Yeah, well I have only one foot left so I didn’t have much choice. Now, your turn!” 

Kenma shook his head frantically and drew his brows together in a frown. “I am not doing that.” 

“Ah come on.” The complaint echoed in his room but didn’t bother him as he kept his eyes on the screen. “You’re no fun, Kenma.”

“I am plenty of fun, thank you.” Kenma debated. “I just care about my life.” 

Kuro laughed, letting himself fall back on the bed, head on his friend’s healthy leg. 

They healed together, Kuro always visiting him when his parents weren’t with him in his room. Kenma never said anything, but he noticed that his friend disappeared when his parents were here. 

He couldn’t blame him though. These last weeks, his mother no longer let a chair for his friend, never did she let a piece of apple pie when she prepared one. She acted as if Kuro wasn’t in the house, as if he wasn’t welcomed anymore. So it was normal for his friend to avoid meeting his parents. 

He didn’t dare to talk about it with his mother. He didn’t like her firm lips and soft gaze when he talked about Kuro. So he kept his mouth shut, bearing with the fact that he was spending less and less time with his best friend. 

Kenma was eight when he received his first real video game. He had begged for a multiplayer one and it's with a slight huff that his father had agreed, buying two controllers and a Mario kart game. 

Since then, Saturdays were reserved for basketball andSundays for video games. And it was Sunday when Kenma finally asked out of nowhere. 

“Are you avoiding my parents?” 

They were playing, Kenma sitting on the ground as usual while Kuro was on his bed. The blond didn’t look back to see his friend’s reaction but knew he was wincing. There was a slight silence, only broke by the game’s sounds before he finally answered. 

“I’m not avoiding your parents specifically.” He dodged a green shell before continuing. “I’m pretty much avoiding every adult.” 

Kenma got it. He noticed the adults’ reactions towards Kuro. He didn’t know why, but they were rude, always looking down on him. But he knew his friend well. He knew how kind and selfless he was. 

He hummed, passing the finish line and smiling slightly at Kuro’s groan. He cast a glance at his friend who just shrugged.

“I think we should keep our friendship secret for now.” He suggested, a sad smile spreading on his face. 

Kenma nodded, going back to the screen. He would be a bit hurt by his friend’s request, but it was Kuro. So he was okay, he didn’t mind keeping their relationship secret. He sighed, going up and sitting next to Kuro on the bed. 

As the new race displayed on the screen, Kenma frowned and Kuro laughed, excited. It was the Rainbow Road, and since they started playing together it was the only race Kenma had trouble doing. Kuro, on the contrary, was inexplicably good at it, always finishing second, right after Kenma. He never beat Kenma at any game, but each time they were on this race, he was pretty close to. 

As they started the race, Kenma’s frown deepened, pouting. He was extremely focused, not bothered to the slightest by Kuro’s movement at his side, body moving from left to right as if it would help him play better. 

It was the last round, and they kept throwing things at each other, even bickering in real life, Kuro punching him slowly with his elbows as Kenma would kick him. Just before the finish line, Kuro got up, screaming. He was in the first place and had only a few meters to do before winning while Kenma was behind him, struggling on a banana peel his friend had just launched at him. 

Already jumping from victory, Kuro was pushing on the buttons with way more force than needed, and Kenma felt it. He felt his victory flatter, he felt the bitter taste of failing even before actually failing. 

So he got up, throwing his controller on his bed. And just before Kuro passed the line, the screen went black. The boy stared at it in disbelief, paused mid-gesture. Puzzled, he looked up at Kenma who had the TV’s wire in hand. 

"Tell me you didn’t." He finally spoke. 

For only response, Kenma huffed, crossing his arms and going back on his bed to sit. He ignored his best friend’s stare and grumbled. 

"Enough video games for today." 

Surprisingly, Kuro laughed. His horrible and infuriating laugh. Holding his sides, giggling hideously and teasing through erratic breaths. 

"You're such a sore loser!" 

It only upset Kenma more as he plunged his head into his pillow, hiding his embarrassment. 

Kenma kept growing. It was normal, everyone was growing. It was something nobody could have a say on, but it didn’t prevent the blond from hating it. Because growing meant changing, and he didn’t like the changes his friendship with Kuro was having. 

It had been an entire week since he had seen his best friend for the last time. He was nowhere to be seen in the neighborhood and never came late at night into his room. Kenma was scared and angry. Kuro was his only friend and he had the feeling that growing was tearing them apart. He needed him. He needed this friendship. 

It was so much more than just a friendship. Kuro became his confidant, his pillar throughout the years. He was the reason he smiled, the comfort during hard times. He was everything. 

That’s why he asked, sitting on the ground of the park one day. "Are you tired of me?" 

Kuro immediately turned his head towards him, brows drew together. "Why would I?" 

The blond kicked some dust with his feet, picking up the grass and cutting it distractedly. He felt his chest tighten at the idea of a positive response. 

"You’ve been away for a week. And before that, we barely saw each other. So if I’m annoying you and you want our friendship to end you just have to tell me. I won’t get mad."

He wasn’t so sure about the last statement, but he didn’t want to pressure Kuro. He waited, biting his lips. 

"Kenma." His friend started, scooting closer. "I’m sorry. I’ve been busy but I swear there is no way I’d get bored of you." 

Even with Kuro’s words, Kenma found himself sniffing, throat itching. Tears fell as his shoulder began shaking. His best friend sighed, coming closer and encircling him in a tight hug. 

"I’ll never let you go Kenma. Never. I told you back then; we will be forever together. Okay?" Kuro whispered in a strangled voice. 

It was weird, but for the first time since he met Kuro, Kenma didn’t believe him. He didn’t felt secure after his words, he didn’t felt like a weight has been taken away from him. Actually he felt as if his friend was going further and further away, letting him alone. 

But he nodded anyway, trying to enjoy the embrace, the warmth. With the bittersweet feeling that there won’t be another. 

And so, when two weeks later he had no sign of Kuro, he couldn’t help but ask his parents at the diner. They were all gathered around the table, settled in comfortable silence, and his voice hesitant, scared, crushed it to pieces. 

"Do you have any news about the neighbor’s son?" 

His mother stopped, fork mid-air and stared at him. His father decided to ignore his question, sighing slightly before eating. There it was again, the slight pout in his mother’s face when he would talk about Kuro. She swallowed hard before putting her fork down, and asked in the gentlest voice she could. 

"Which neighbors?"

She knew too well, but Kenma answered anyway. "The Kuros." 

She sighed, but for the first time, she actually answered the truth. "Kenma honey, the Kuros don’t have a son, just a girl five years younger than you." 

_Right._

He knew it. 

Deep down, _he knew it_. 

He had come to the conclusion since that night he had broken his ankle. Yet, hearing it verbally truly hurt. 

Feeling suddenly nauseous, he closed his lips in a thin line and got up. Without another word, he ignored his parents asking him if he was okay and rushed upstairs. 

Plunging into his bed, burying his head into his pillow he sobbed. 

He couldn’t believe it. He _refused_ to believe it. He has been imagining it for years, holding onto something false, hanging on something his anxiety created. Claiming that he had a wonderful friend, that he wasn’t alone. And all this time, it was his mind forcing him to see and feel what he wanted, what he needed to stay away from real people, stay away from rejection. 

But it felt so real for him. The nights talking about everything, holding each other close when they were feeling miserable. The weekends playing and getting better together, enjoying their life the most they could. The hugs and the contacts. All of that felt real, it was real for him. 

And yet, thinking back, it obviously wasn’t. Because who would let a child go out in the middle of the night to see a friend? How could Kuro even climb onto his room with a broken leg? Why would adults hate a child as much as they hated Kuro? It was because he wasn’t real, he wasn’t true, wasn’t tangible. And Kenma knew better than anyone that adults hated what’s not tangible. 

Kuro was too good to be true. He had always appeared when he needed him most, always knowing what to say to him, how to calm him. He had always fitted Kenma’s expectations. 

Kuro wasn’t real. Nothing in his childhood was real. 

And yet right now, he would give everything he had to have Kuro by his side. 

Just one last time, just now. He needed to be reassured, he needed someone to tell him that he was okay, that he wasn’t mad for having imagined all of this. He needed comfort, Kuro’s comfort. He didn’t care anymore if it was real or not, he just needed his friend. 

But nobody opened the window that night. 

Kenma was on the way back home, eyes glued to his PSP. He just finished his first day of middle school. If he had to be honest, it wasn’t as horrible as he had expected it to be, but it hadn’t been great either. 

He had spent the day hiding behind his hair, mumbling excuses and trying to avoid crowds. The breaks between classes were spent alone locked in the bathroom, holding onto his games, knuckles white. 

He had run away from three people who tried to talk to him. He hadn’t even let them ask anything, he just walked away, breath short, sweat sticking between his uniform and his back. He had stopped the panics by grabbing onto his game, which was the only thing keeping him grounded. 

That’s why he hadn’t been able to wait until home to play again. The moment he walked away from school, he took it and started playing. And as he was walking on the streets, focused on his game, he slowly started to feel better. His finger started to soothe, flying over the commands almost automatically and steadying his breaths. 

It was like that since he realized Kuro wasn’t real. Since then, he had lost his pillar, the only thing that until now, had kept him calm among others. But since he lost his shield, he lost all his confidence and started his way downwards. He accumulated panic attacks over panic attacks, refusing to go out and plunging himself into the only thing he was good at; playing video games. 

His parents were worried, he knew that. But he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know how to act anymore, he didn’t know how to bear this pressure without Kuro. But he knew his friend had always been a fantasy, so he said nothing and forced himself into things, doing the best he could. 

And right now, the best he could do was focusing on killing the boss of this new game his father had bought for him two days earlier. 

As he was about to launch a powerful attack, he felt something pulling on his arms, making him stumble, preventing him from hitting a pole. A voice echoed not far away from his ears.

"Woah! Careful there!" Kenma darted away from the boy, putting some distance between them and immediately hiding his face behind his hair. "You should watch where you’re going." 

He didn’t even dare to look up, mumbling clumsily. “Sorry.” 

But the boy just laughed, forcing him to raise his head a bit to see him. He was taller than Kenma expected and it took him all his will power to tilt his head backward. 

He froze, eyes wide. 

"I’m sorry if I scared you, but I’ve noticed you walking straight into it so I acted the fastest I could." The boy continued, not bothered at all by the lack of answers. 

He was tall, with a goofy grin and brown eyes. He had horrible hairs, almost like he woke up this way and gave up to tone them. He looked a lot like-

“Do you live around?” He asked, burying his hands into his pockets. Kenma couldn’t pinpoint if the boy was feeling confident or stressed. Maybe a bit of both. “I’ve just moved into the neighborhood.” 

Kenma blinked, game forgotten. He was incapable to say something, just staring at the young boy in front of him. 

He couldn’t believe his eyes. 

Kenma nearly choked when the stranger added, a huge smile on his face. 

“I’m Kuroo by the way. Kuroo Tetsurou.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so glad I finally got to finish this!! It took me ages to write, but now, it’s here! I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard to write, but it was pretty fun, and I’m proud of it! 
> 
> Most of the things that happened here are bits of my life. Not the whole imaginary friend thing but, yeah, I was a trouble child. It was really fun to storytell it with kuroken! 
> 
> Don’t forget to leave comment/kudos to say what you thought of it. I’ll take anything you can offer, I’m sure it will brighten my day anyway! 
> 
> So thank you so much for reading, I really hope you enjoyed it!! <3


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